I thought it was time for a pregnancy bump reveal. There’s a little boy in there! We are so excited and can’t believe we only have 5.5 weeks to go.
When I first got pregnant I was overwhelmed by how little “good” or “common sense” information about pregnancy was available on the internet (or in books for that matter). Now that I’ve got 8.5 months of pregnancy under my belt (literally!) I thought I’d share my common sense survival guide to pregnancy. Of course this is in no way medical advice and you should always discuss your medical condition with your doctor.
Books and Websites
You’ll find really quickly that most books and websites have an agenda (pro-natural childbirth, pro-epidural etc etc etc). From The Hips in particular does a great job of not having an agenda and educating you about all your options (with pros and cons of each). The authors also have a nice voice. I particularly liked the Perfect Hormone Balance book’s common sense approach to handling the inconveniences of pregnancy that many doctors will just tell you to “endure” like morning sickness and mood swings. I think it should be handed out with every positive pregnancy test. It’s that good. I found that BabyCenter.com is one of the better baby/pregnancy websites.
Food
If I could only give one piece of advice to other pregnant women it would be: stay hydrated. So simple and so overlooked. I drink about 2.5 liters of water a day. Low fat mozzarella string cheese really helped with my morning sickness. Coconut water is a natural gatorade and helped me stay hydrated and avoid leg cramps (it has as much potassium as three bananas!)
Clothes
Everyone’s belly grows at different rates and in different ways so that only real advice I can give you is shop around and don’t spend too much on anything (since you seriously might outgrow it in a week). I bought a pair of expensive Juicy Couture corduroys and only wore them for a month. A total waste of money. I also had two separate breakdowns in maternity stores — I’d suggest going with a pregnant friend or your mom. The changes in your body can be really overwhelming and it seems impossible at first to figure out how to still feel like yourself.
What worked for me (a petite woman with wide hips and a huge bust): I was actually happiest when I adapted my pre-pregnancy clothes. I have lived in my Beyond Yoga pants and loved layering cardigans with J Crew tank tops (size medium and size large) — this took me through the 8th month of pregnancy. When my bump got too big, I switched to Pea in the Pod maternity tee shirts (that were WAY too big for the first two trimesters). I also lived in Micheal Star cowl necks through the entire winter (and I might even be able to wear them post pregnancy). When I had to be dressed up for work or social stuff, I found that dresses from Talbots and Club Monaco two sizes larger than my normal size were MUCH better than anything “maternity”.
I found a chunky necklace or two made me feel more pulled together and less self conscious about my new (HUGE) bust. Oh and if your boobs get huge (not everyone’s do), go get fitted for new bras ASAP at someplace like Intimacy. This is probably were I spent the most money on pregnancy clothes and it was worth every penny. They will also take most maternity bras and turn them into nursing bras. Target has a great maternity line that is really affordable and I also found that their plus size line worked well too (and in most stores they are close together so that makes shopping easy). I basically live in sneakers and clogs these days (I really really miss all my nice shoes….).
General Advice
Every woman has a different experience being pregnant — which can be harder than you’d think and was a real shock to me. I naively thought that since all babies need roughly 10 months in the womb that the experience would be a series of identical milestones (ohhh how wrong I was!). I didn’t suffer from constipation (see water!) or back spasms or morning sickness (see string cheese!) or Braxton Hicks (see water again!) or food aversions. But, I did suffer from vertigo and major major fatigue. My second trimester was the hardest three months of my life to date yet everyone around me said that their second trimesters were a breeze. It was scary at first that my friends and my mother hadn’t suffered from these things and that I wasn’t suffering from the things they had.
Also, it surprised me how hard women are on other women. Women seem to get very judgmental/self righteous/defensive/ competitive about labor choices and the use of formula, and on and on. Forewarned is forearmed. I learned to keep my mouth shut pretty quickly and tune out people who had an axe to grind on both ends of the spectrum. I have friends who’ve had every experience possible, from home births to scheduled cesareans, from full time nannys to attachment parenting. My take: as women we should be glad we live in an age were we can become educated about our choices and make a choice as to how our baby comes into the world and what their first years are like. This wasn’t possible for our mothers’ generation.
What would Miss Manners Say: When someone says they are pregnant, the ONLY response is “you are going to be great parents.” When someone tells you the sex of their child the best response is “it must be so nice to know!” — otherwise you risk sounding like you think one sex is better than another. I found that when I told people I was having a boy, they acted like having a boy was the equivalent of winning the pregnancy lottery. Which got my back up. Also, never comment on the size of a woman’s bump (“you look great” is a good go-to if you feel you need to comment) or assume if it is large that she is about to deliver (the security guards where I work act as if I’m about to go into labor — every day for the last two months).
Pregnancy isn’t easy (although it is pretty amazing to have another life inside you) and I hope this offers some practical resources for navigating your own pregnancy!
{ 66 comments… read them below or add one }
you’re so adorable pregnant, abbey! best of luck with the rest of the term and the wonderful adventures that lie ahead
anne
You look soo cute! That is a lovely picture! And as someone else expecting a little boy – your advice is great! I too drink coconut water to avoid dehydration and get more potassium. And sucking on a Life Saver helped me pass through all queasiness. This is all such great insight, Abbey! Thank you for sharing!
And your baby boy is in wonderful hands! You seem to have pregnancy down pat – motherhood is sure to be something you ace as well! xoxo
You look great, lady – and so happy : ) This little post is bonkers good. This:
My take: as women we should be glad we live in an age were we can become educated about our choices and make a choice as to how our baby comes into the world and what their first years are like.
is so true. I’m always appalled by the judgement people are willing to heap down. I have been to so many family events where pregnancy and parenthood are either framed as competitive activities with only one right way to win or terrible, tortuous ones that will ruin your life that it has kind of scared me off the idea of parenthood at all. I’m glad to hear you are navigating your way.
Thanks ladies! Paige, you are so sweet, but I actually really struggled with being pregnant — all the changes in my body and my moods. It has been a challenging time for me! Stephanie, you are SO right about competitiveness. I actually updated the post to include that word because that is what shocked me the most — women getting competitive about pregnancy. xoxoxo Abbey
De-lurking to comment & say you look fabulous!! It is amazing how rude some people can be. My SIL was pregnant last spring & the ladies in the office kept commenting & saying things like, ‘you are huge, are you having twins or something?’ She dealt with it pretty well but my brother said sometimes she’d cry when she came home from work.
Great post!
You look beautiful! Wish I had looked that good when I was pregnant with you-know-who!
Abbey you are so cute! What an awesome guide! Reminder that I have an empty glass of water right here next to my computer, time for a refill.
LOVE the necklace! Isn’t it funny how a great necklace can make you feel great!?
Hang in there these next few weeks!
Thanks for this post!
Erika
You look wonderful! Congratulations!
My college roommate and I made and wore “WWMMD” bracelets (this was during the WWJD craze). WWMMD, of course, is the most valuable rhetorical question one can ever ask him- or herself — what would Miss Manners do?
You’re the third person I know of who is having a boy this spring! Such happy news! A friend of mine just had a baby boy on Tuesday and already she, baby, and daddy make one happy family. It’s pretty sweet to see.
Thanks for the pregnancy tips. While I’m not planning on being pregnant any time soon, it’s great stuff to keep in mind!
And you look fabulous.
you are so cute! i am definitely keeping these tips stashed away for future reference. they are really great and unique.
Adorable bump!
I have to say, this is perhaps the most sensible, level-headed pregnancy advice I’ve ever read. I bookmarked it to revisit in a year or so! (I shouldn’t be surprised, since you always seem like such a chill, level-headed person.)
I am with the commenter above who said they’ve had lots of baby boys in their circles lately. Of the last 6 pregnancies I’ve been close to, 5 were/will be boys. Strange!
Oh, and re. the tiny boy in that little bump…We met the one-week-old youngest of some of our closest friends this weekend. EEEEE! I had forgotten how itsy-bitsy even a fairly hefty (8 lb. 5 oz. at birth) newborn is; I’m used to his 17-month-old brother. So tiny! TINY HANDS! Agh, the cuteness.
Such a great post – I’m not even close to being pregnant, but it’s good to have some insight into what my friends etc are going through. Thanks!
And I totally agree about competitive pregnancy & parenting…kind of sickening actually. Children should not be treated as accessories.
Good luck with the remaining weeks!
just had to pop in and say how cute you are! love that photo of you. such an interesting post too, excellent. wishing you much joy (and energy – exhausting indeed!) for the adventure ahead. oh, and sending a hug – well done you so far! xx
Lovely photo! Can I just add one for the Miss Manners section? Do not tell a pregnant lady she’s HUGE and then say “must be twins, right?”. Ugh, so sick of hearing that!
Good to know, I’ve never been pregnant but it sounds like all these things are absolutely necessary, hope you’re feeling okay!
De-lurking to say that after 3 pregnancies which all had different symptoms at different times, your advice is great and exactly what I would give out as well. My only addition would be to see if you can get a hold of an Australian book called “Up the Duff” by Kaz Cooke. Hilarious and very helpful in lightening the whole stress about choices and stuff. Thanks for a great post and congrats on the bump!!
Hooray for babies.
Fabulous Abbey!!! Truly, can’t wait to see you this weekend. Great round-up here!
oh my goodness, abbey. I LOVE THIS. i am going to post today. thank you!!!!!!! you are going to be a wonderful mother
i love knowing you!
lovely post!
This is fantastic advice and just made my afternoon. I am just a couple weeks behind you, expecting a baby girl, and I am so sick of people commenting on how big I am. It makes me feel the need to say things back like “Yes, I know. But they swear there is only one in there.” I had someone at work tell me a month ago that it looked like “things are really progressing quickly in your case.” These things make me want to scream and I hate myself for grinning and bearing it! I’ve also found that I feel best about my appearance when I keep it simple – black jersey knit dresses, a good pair of maternity jeans with a white t-shirt and a cute black wrap – and always have fun jewelry. Best of luck to you!
Already saved for the day I might need this advice, but in the meantime, excellent post, Abbey!
So excited for you and Tim – can’t wait for the big ‘reveal’!!
Hang in there – you’re doing beautifully xxx
i second everything in this guide! also, keep moving–it made me feel much better to continue jogging until week 33. swimming is also great for pregnant women.
this is really great advice, and it’s completely unbiased! i’m glad to finally see realistic, simple information about pregnancy.
This is fabulous! I’m due with #2 in 6 weeks and this time around is quite different from #1. But all your guidelines still apply! Be prepared because similar issues come up once the baby comes too. I stopped meeting up with some moms (when baby #1 was small) because their strong opinions on nursing and sleep habits made me start to second guess what was best for me and my little one. Really, it’s best to love and appreciate all the diversity we have.
Great post – I can’t see the pic of you but I’m sure you look great! I’m halfway through and am very interested in checking out the book, From the Hips. Thanks for the suggestion. I am also going to see where I can get that coconut water – I have been very lucky so far with no morning sickness, but I’m worried about back pain as I get bigger. enjoy your last couple of weeks and I wish you and your baby the best!
Hi Abbey,
I found you through Cup of Jo’s site and I like what I see!
You gave such great and truthful advice!
I am not pregnant and am not a mommy but it is great to know that their are blogs like yours and advice out there for future mommies to know about.
Especially when there is SOOOO many different choices we all have during a pregnancy.
So thank you for posting this (i will be posting this on my blog if you don’t mind) and enjoy you’re baby boy when he gets into your arms!
Take care,
S.
{also at http://86ksbl05.blogspot.com/}
Just buzzed over here from A Cup of Joe – have had three children and just wanted to tell you that your survival guide is right on! All the best to you!
I think your pregnancy tips are just great! I have a couple of grown sons now, and wish someone had given me such great, sincer info..BTW, you look great!!! Take good care and enjoy..
xo, Penney
I think your pregnancy tips are just great! I have a couple of grown sons now, and wish someone had given me such great, sincere info..BTW, you look great!!! Take good care and enjoy..
xo, Penney
Great post! I love the resources you shared. I am going to link to this from my blog!
What a lovely informative post! I am just newly preggo with my third (also have a stepson:) and it’s been seven years so I’ve forgotten quite a bit! Thanks for this, and you look adorable.
Ah, so funny. I must have heard “you look so ready, any day now” a million times, when I still had months to go. And “is it twins”? Are people thaaat unaware? Your responses should be the ONLY ones people say, I agree.
YAY!! I have been waiting for a pregnancy bump photo, Abbs! You are so freakin’ adorable, I can’t even take it! And that lil guy is so obviously a boy…you are all tummy, lady:) So so so happy for you guys. This advice is great.
I could not agree more with everything said in this post. GREAT advice! I will have to pick up the Perfect Hormone Balance book next time around though. I had my first baby, also a boy, last October. Congratulations on yours!
As Ms. Manners would say: you look great!
No, but really you do. And I LOVE this advice. I don’t plan on getting pregnant for another bajillion years (approx.) but if I were, this would be priceless to me. It’s not cookie-cutter advice, I love that.
I’m excited for your baby, he has a smart mom!
~Amanda
Thanks, so much for the post. As one that is definitely more natural minded, but sick and tired of all the bickering over it, I appreciate your straight forward approach to pregnancy and birth. Best of luck!
Great advice and good luck! I totally agree with the Miss Manners part of it. I have a 5 month old baby and while pregnant I had way too many people tell me I must be having twins…as if I wouldn’t know. Also,way too many people offering graphic childbirth details and opinions.
I love your advice and you look so adorable.
p.s. I love that the peanut butter bars are a related link!
comment 1. you look great.
comment 2. i’m on my second pregnancy and i still found your guide quite helpful.
comment 3. i hear you on the trauma of shopping for maternity clothes. i’m already freaking out MORE this time about the changes in my body. not fair. but my advice (to others) is to hold off serious maternity clothing shopping until you’re good and big because otherwise it all looks like crap on you. : )
comment 4. you wanna know what’s going to be awesome? after the baby comes, there’ll be awhile when every single day you look in the mirror and think, “damn. i look even better than yesterday” because your body will be shrinking back and letting go of all that fluid and fun stuff.
This is such a great guide. I’m nowhere near being pregnant, but had never read anything so comprehensive and insightful. Thank you!
And I can’t wait to see your little guy!
what a great guide abbey! you look stunning!
Another de-lurker to say *great* post. I have an 18-month-old and when I read this it all came rushing back. It’s so important to surround yourself with supportive people and try to block out all the rest. With your lovely attitude I’m sure that won’t be difficult
Best, best of luck to you! Enjoy you little one!
Thanks for putting it right out there that some comments to pregnant women should be OFF LIMITS. May I add another? I’m 4th months along with my first and am amazed at how many times people (most of whom I hardly knew) asked me if I’d thrown up–not just, “How are you feeling?” but “Have you puked yet?”. I’ll share details of morning sickness or lack thereof when I’m ready, thanks!
Blessings to you on your little one!
Great advice. I couldn’t agree more. Especially the part about other women making judgments. It’s amazing how being pregnant suddenly makes you public property… Congratulations and good luck.
wonderful advice! I’m living in yoga pants as well since we’re going on 7 mos.–there’s not a thing more comfortable. best wishes and congrats!
brilliant, absolutely brilliant and spot on. thank you!
All my best wishes for the baby to come…and the last few weeks left! thanks for all the good pregnancy tips! (and a huge MERCI for mentioning our Octopus tape!!). Julie
excellent post. power to the people. power to the women. power to you!
I just found this post and I cried reading it. Most of my friends are younger than me and ask to be moved when a baby cries in the restaurant. I couldn’t feel more alone right now and your post was so true and so comforting to read.
Thank you!
{ 4 trackbacks }